Our Difficult Journey

An Introduction

I met Clare in January 2010 after arranging a meeting through Match.com.  I had been using the dating site for 6 months and had been on a few dates, but was seeing no success I was ready for calling it a day, that is when Clare sent me a little wink.  Clare had just come back from working abroad and wanted to meet new people so thought she would see what Match had to offer.  I sent her an email which she couldn't read unless she paid the joining fee of £29.99, it was money well spent.

In October 2011, whilst on holiday in Las Vegas, I proposed to Clare in our room in the Mirage Hotel overlooking the fabulous strip.  I had planned to propose whilst watching the Bellagio Fountains, but when we got there it seemed a little too "Romantic Film Cliched", my next thought was to take her for a lovely meal and propose in the restaurant, but we overslept due to jet lag.  On our return to the hotel, I looked out of our window and was just taken aback by the view so I asked Clare to join me a take in this amazing vista.  The moment felt right and I got down on one knee and asked her to be mine forever. Thankfully she said "Yes" and our journey together set a whole new course.

We married in 2012 at the Holiday Inn, Bolton much to the surprise of all our family and friends who because of our jet setting lifestyle thought we would be abroad somewhere. Little did they know, we nearly got married the day after I proposed in Vegas at the Chapel of Bells.  Our wedding felt like a party from the moment we woke up till the time we went to sleep, and we know the family that joined us felt the same way too.  Our personalities we portrayed perfectly throughout the day and people just smiled and laughed.  Life could not be better, I had just married my greatest friend, someone who understands me, accepts me with all my many flaws and pushes me to achieve goals I would never have thought possible.

A few months later we were on a choppy ferry travelling across from Sorrento to Capri and Clare was feeling very sea sick, but so were most of the passengers.  As I said, it was very choppy.  The sickness did not pass and even though Capri is a stunning place, Clare could not focus as she was dreading the return journey.  I tried to distract her by being my usual silly self and although she wasn't sick on the route back there was still a feeling of nausea. We decided check to see if we had been blessed by doing a pregnancy test, just in case, and the result came back positive.  Our lives were like a fairy tale we just didn't realise for the next few years it was to be more Grimm than Disney

7 weeks later we were in A&E unsure of what to expect, Clare had a bleed and we could only think the worst.  Thankfully, we were told that some women have bleeds during pregnancy and we should just keep an eye on things as baby was doing fine. The bleeds happened within a two week period for the remaining months.  The 12 week scan showed us our little baby was growing well and there were no issues, so this put our minds at rest.  We both commented that on the picture given to us by the Sonographer that the baby looked like a little potato, so we called it "Spud".  Clare was forced to finish work as she had no energy and was struggling to function most days, we put this down to her struggling with the pregnancy and the bleeds not helping.  The night before our 20 weeks scan, Clare was feeling very unwell so went to bed early.  At midnight she woke me feeling terrible, I rang the emergency midwife who advised us to take paracetamol and see how she feels in the morning.  Whilst on the phone to the midwife, Clare's waters broke and we rushed to hospital.

Our son Spud was born August 30th 2013 at 2:40am, sleeping.

This devastated our family and friends but words cannot describe what it did to us.  I knew I had to be there to support Clare but needed to grieve myself as well.  The pressure put on our relationship was severe. I can honestly say, the next 12 months were the hardest of my life, but worth every second.  They made me appreciate what life had to offer, how lucky I was to have Clare and how strong our relationship had become.  Without Clare I know I would not have made it through as positively as I did, and i know the feeling is mutual from Clare's side too.

Clare was diagnosed with Factor V Leiden, a blood disorder that causes clots.  This is a genetic disorder that Clare had lived all her life with and never known about.

Over the next two years we were blessed three more times, and had our hearts broken on all three occasions.

We saw an Angel's heart beating at 8 weeks but was told at the 12 week scan that it had passed at 9 weeks.  With the amazing help of Bolton, our next pregnancy was found to be ectopic and Clare's right tube removed.  The fourth was a failed pregnancy that did not continue passed the 4 week period.

We both knew that Clare's body needed to heal as well as our minds.  We had been pushed more than a newly wedded couple should be and although it had put undue pressure on our marriage we were stronger than ever, closer than ever and proof that we are perfect for each other.

After losing a considerable amount of weight, focusing on our health, Clare and I went to Egypt for a Cruise and Stay in May 2015.  On our return, Clare had an inkling to do a pregnancy test, it came back very positive.  Due to our history, Clare was scanned and it was confirmed, what looked like a little Haribo bear was floating around in Clare's womb. The thing that confused the sonographer is that the egg had come from the right ovary, the ovary that had no tube as it was removed after the ectopic pregnancy.  The egg had no delivery system, a little miracle baby.

With a few stressful months still to go, regular scans every two weeks and daily injections, every day is one step closer to the our healthy baby joining our family in January/February 2016.  We know it will be one hell of a journey but can we only stay positive, support each other and with the help of family and friends push towards that final goal.

This is our story so far...

Diary of a New Dad will be my own personal journey into fatherhood and beyond.